Can I just have a moment to complain about how UGLY one piece bathing suits are? I went shopping for one today, because the boyfriend’s parents are coming this weekend, and we’re headed to the lake. I’m not too comfortable throwing on any of my bikinis, so I headed out on my lunch break to see if I could quickly pick up a nice, simple, black one piece.
I was SO wrong! During lunch, I visited three stores. Nothing but string bikinis and board shorts. After work, I headed to the mall, where I had to visit three more stores before finding a suit that is still absolutely hideous, but beats going to the lake in my bikini.
Throughout my shopping excursion, I realized two things about one piece bathing suits: they either come with lots of padding, unfortunate looking straps or skirts, and they lack any kind of support whatsoever. I’m not talking emotional support. I’m talking about boobs.
NEWSFLASH: That little flap of material with the tissue paper you call lining is not doing me any favors. And just because I’m looking for a one piece does not mean I want to be seen in large floral patterns, shiny psychodelic colors or large stripes. So that pretty much rules out every single bathing suit in every single store in this town.
And one other thing: those one pieces that have the gold rings between the boobs and are cut out in the middle and look like they should only be worn with heels…they only look good on those Victoria’s Secret chicks.
Stream of Consciousness 