I Was Just Trying to Mind My Own Business… April 27, 2009

Having just returned from a lovely two week vacation, I am relaxed and rejuvenated.  Oh, and reminded of how the simple act of flying can turn into an “is this really happening?” moment.

 

For an international flight, my travel was actually fairly easy; however, it was not without its bumps in the road.  There are simple flight rules by which one should abide.  You would think that anyone with an ounce of common sense (or someone who has at least flown once in their life) would get it.  Unfortunately, there are people out there with no concept of social rules, and being stuck in an uncomfortable, confined space such as an airplane will bring out the idiot in anyone.

 

Let’s take the guy who sat next to me on the last leg of my trip.  I’d been traveling for 20 hours, and all I wanted to do was eat, shower and sleep.  I did not want to hear a stranger apologize to his girlfriend for a sketchy email, his dominance fantasies and Craigslist postings.

 

Yeah, that’s right.  There is actually someone out there who has so little shame that he broadcast the entire saga that is his love (or should I say kinky sex) life to his fellow passengers.  The conversation went a little like this:

 

“Hey baby, I just wanted to let you know there is nothing going on between me and Sebastian.  She’s interested in me, and I’m attracted to her, but I told her that nothing would happen because I’m with you.”

(Silence as he listens to her response.)

“Yes, Sebastian is a woman.  I don’t have any homosexual tendencies.  She’s a woman in her forties, and I didn’t do anything with her.”

(Another response on the other end.)

“Yes, I admit in the past I’ve had dominance fantasies.  But I’ve never acted on any of them.  And I don’t regret not acting on them.  You are more important than that to me.”

(Response)

“It’s fine that you saw the email.  But it was just something flirty that she sent to me, and it doesn’t mean anything.  I really don’t want this to mess up anything with us.”

(Response)

“Yes, I’ve posted my dominance fantasies on Craigslist, but it doesn’t mean anything.  I’ve never acted on them.”

 

So the conversation went.  I was so uncomfortable that I eventually tried to tune it out by listening to the nice, innocent conversation in front of me regarding the cute little 3-year-old who was ready for a nap.

 

News flash:  I don’t care what you do behind closed doors.  And knowing him, they’re probably not closed, and neither are the blinds.  I do care that you’re sharing it with me, a captive audience who has nowhere to go and must sit next to you for the remainder of the flight.  Save your dominance-sketchy-email-jealous-girlfriend-themed conversation for the privacy of your own home or hotel room.  Spare the public a glimpse into your world.