So I stumbled upon this story today, and it seemed like any other marriage contest until I read the following:
“…we are also looking for a couple that is committed and who will work through struggles…and we are looking for a couple that is choosing a lifestyle that is not compromising, and premarital sex is a compromiser.”
I get it. People are of the opinion that marriage should come before sex; that living together before marriage is not a good idea; that the best way to go is marriage-sex-kids. But to judge those who don’t live that lifestyle, and to imply that couples who live together and/or have sex while not married are uncommitted is ridiculous and offensive.
My boyfriend and I have lived together for the past 6 months. We chose that path for several reasons that didn’t include a nonchalant attitude toward marriage or spending the rest of our lives together. We plan to marry eventually and decided to live together because we spent most of our nights in the same place anyway. It made financial and emotional sense.
I read up on the divorce rate, which is currently at 50% in the US. And everyone conjectures on the causes of this, one of which is the fact that couples are more likely to cohabitate before marriage. However, nobody can explain WHY that would make a difference.
“…those who live together have a higher chance of eventually divorcing. The reasons for this are not well understood.”
Look, there are plenty of reasons that couples divorce–affairs, changing life goals, work, family stress–and you can add cohabitation to the list if you’d like. But living with a person before marriage is a personal decision that is made based on individual choices and opinions. To say that it will inevitably lead to divorce is irresponsible. My boyfriend and I work through struggles and hardships with a dedication that would rival any married couple. I have no doubt that we will do the same after we’ve exchanged vows.
Tonight, I will gladly be sharing “the bed of poor choices” with him.
